I AM SO BAD AT BEING BAD - I COULDN'T EVEN GET INTO JAIL

 

 

One evening when I was 57 years old,

Newly widowed,

Unemployed, homeless and very sick,

There was no room for me in a shelter:

 

So,

I went into a police station,

And asked if I could sleep in an empty cell.

 

I was refused.

 

I asked if I could sleep in a cell

If I went out and smashed a window.

 

I was refused,

With amused smiles by the officers.

 

The cells were "reserved for criminals".

 

So I spent another night in my old Pontiac.

 

I just can't be bad enough to matter.